Think of someone you have a healthy dislike for. And wouldn’t revenge taste a teeny-weeny more sweet to let this person suffer a little? And wouldn’t revenge taste even a little more sweet if it could take place around Christmas time? That ever nagging sister-in-law, that annoyingly narrow-minded aunt or your Mr. “I-always-have-something-to-complain-about-and-if-not-I’ll-find-something-to-complain-about” that you have to call uncle, who you have to spend your Christmases with. They simply deserve some proper payback. No worries. We have the answer to your problems. We proudly present the Payback Sweater: an ugly as hell pullover wrapped in an ultimate hipster packaging that makes the recipient believe your intentions are sincere, but actually makes them look like a horse’s arse (sorry horses, you have a point; your arses get discriminated against way too often, and for nothing). Like a hobbit. It makes them look like a sad, little, smelly hobbit who should be tucked away deep in the shire. Revenge can be sweet. Family feuds can be settled for good. And you’ll be the winner. How’s that for a happy Christmas thought?
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You walk through life without caring if you ever have an impact.
You think persuasion is for perverts.
You are perfectly happy being charmless.
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